


How to Charm Your Way Out of Dying: the Beginner's Guide

by Bermuda_Grass



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Blades, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Canonical Character Death, Drowning, Fire Nation Royal Family, Fire and burns, Firebending & Firebenders, Gen, Iroh is a good dad, Lu Ten centric, Major Character Injury, Ozai is a bad uncle, Ozai is just plain bad, Poison, Poisoning, Spirit World, There's not a happy ending, This is not a fun story, and father - Freeform, graphic description of burns, graphic description of drowning, they're all messed up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bermuda_Grass/pseuds/Bermuda_Grass
Summary: Five times Lu Ten dragged himself kicking and snarling out of the spirit world and one time he decided he was tired of kicking.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. Strategy 1: Be Stubborn as Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Graphic description of a young child getting burned, brief mentions of water/ possible drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be perfectly honest, I started this little fic because I think there is a criminal lack of Lu Ten content and I needed to fix that. So I will admit that this project of mine is pretty self indulgent but I hope a few of you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Lu Ten is six years old and he is on fire. He is on fire and he cannot stop it and it _hurts_. They are his flames, he can tell by the way they shrink and rise in time with his gasping screams, but he can't concentrate enough can't make them stop, because he is six and he is on fire. 

He'd been in the courtyard only partially hidden behind one of the ornate pillars that held up the roofs for the walking paths in an attempt to hide from his no-doubt very angry tutor. He didn't _need_ to know about proper penmanship, he _needed_ to figure out how to spark his flames properly. His dad kept telling him that it wasn't something he could force, that his inner fire was something he couldn't just haphazardly bend to his will, but that was stupid! Uncle Ozai was able to start fire bending when he was just four, Lu Ten was already two years late and he couldn't afford to lose any more time. How was he supposed to follow in his father's footsteps if he couldn't even produce a spark? He couldn't, so he was being perfectly reasonable for skipping classes! 

He'd curled up behind the pillar as best he could in case someone happened to come by and carefully placed his hands perpendicular to one another with his bottom hand curled slightly like a cage. His dad had taught him the proper way to position his hands every time they had lessons and he attempted to emulate as best his could without instruction as he glared at his palm. He wasn't too sure if the glaring was necessary but it felt like an important step if he was going to be concentrating so he kept it up. His nose scrunched slightly and he took a sharp but deep inhale through his nose. He held the breath for only a moment before letting it slowly out through his mouth and repeated the action again and again until he'd fallen into a steady rhythm. His father made it look so _easy_ every time he showed him, with effortless breaths and a relaxed yet structured posture. Lu Ten's form was a far cry from his father's ease but he remained steadfast in his goal. He held his gaze with sharp focus, his brow furrowed as he imagined the flickering of a candle. He imagined the soft orange hue and the harsh shadow it cast along the walls. He imagined the power the small flicker held as it ebbed and grew like a living creature. He was so focused and making sure he was correct with his intent that he almost didn't notice the small flash that began to dance around his palm. He almost let the small flame blow out in his excitement once he noticed the swirling heat in his hand, but he was quick to quell his excitement enough to preserve it as he watched it between his caged fingers. He momentarily forgot that he'd been playing hooky, the only thought on his mind being that he had to show his dad his accomplishment. Once he knew that meant he could start fire bending lessons - _real_ fire bending and not just those silly breathing techniques he'd been trying to get right- and he'd be one step closer to being a general and fulfilling his father's legacy. He let out an excited noise half-way between a laugh and a yelp as he stared in wide-eyed at the crackling, flickering mass still in his hands. 

And then it grew.

At first, he was even more ecstatic to see the flames starting to lick at his fingertips and rise several inches, a bigger fire meant a better fire bender. Obviously. His wild grin began to falter once he quickly realized that maybe it was a bit _too_ big of a fire. He'd just gotten the hang of it, after all, he didn't want to get too crazy. The only issue was that he didn't exactly know how to make less fire, he hadn't thought ahead of making _any_ fire in the first place. Alright, bragging to his father was put on hold, not setting the courtyard on fire was now the boy's top priority. Which was easier said than done when the sleeve of his robes was already starting to singe. In an only slightly desperate bid to quell the flames Lu Ten wildly flailed his arm in the air, hoping the flames would just dissipate naturally. To his horror the fiery ball did no such thing, in fact, it had already started to quickly crawl up the fabric of his sleeve. The silken fabric we set alight as easily as tissue paper and blazed onward despite his attempts to stop it. His hands desperately slapped against the burning garment as he could already feel the unbearable heat leeching into his skin but all he managed to do is spread the fierce pain across his palms as he scrambled uselessly and harshly collided with one of the pillars. The cool stone pressed against his back as he clawed and smashed against the flames, his cries for help becoming strangled and giving way to unintelligible screams of pain and panicked heaving. The pain was white-hot and unlike anything he'd ever felt before, suddenly there was a startling lack of heat and instead, there was an odd icy feeling dancing across his smoldering skin as it shredded against every nerve and stole the air from his lungs. It was as if someone were peeling away at the layers of his arm, burning through skin and muscle until the pain reached his very bones. The scent of his own burning flesh stung his eyes as he clawed futility. His screams were drowned out by the roaring of the flames and the blood rushing through his ears but he could feel the strain against his throat. He attempted to blink through the tears welling in his eyes that clouded his already spotting vision as he desperately looked around the empty walkway in the hopes that someone, _anyone_ , would notice him. When the dark spots overtook his vision entirely he was almost thankful as he felt his senses slip away from him, even if it meant he missed the harsh footsteps coming towards him.

When Lu Ten was dragged back into wakefulness the first thing he noticed was the feeling of soft grass beneath him. Which was odd, because he was fairly sure he was in the stone-lined floors of the courtyard the last he remembered. The next thing he realized was that he was not on fire anymore, he wasn't even in pain the more he thought about it. That was enough to make the young boy jolt upright and wildly look around. He was in the middle of some sort of field, the open greenery extending for miles in all directions of him with spots of colored flowers poking through the tall grass. They were beautiful plants but obviously foreign to him with their leafy stems and pastel colors. It was a rather pretty place, but he didn't remember coming here. Still, it felt...Safe, and comfortable so the boy relaxed a bit before finally looking at his suspiciously pain-free arm. His previous injured arm was completely unmarked and even his sleeve was still intact. He hesitantly moved his fingers around and felt a chill up his spine when his body didn't feel like his. Well, it wasn't quite that. It was his body and he could feel and move it just fine but something felt wrong. It was like he was missing something despite patting himself down several times and finding nothing out of the ordinary. Lu Ten probably would have spent several more minutes trying to figure out what was so wrong if he hadn't felt a pair of eyes glaring down the back of his neck. He whipped his head around to find a spirit, or what he assumed was a spirit. It obviously wasn't a person but it was far too human-like to be any sort of animal. It had the classic features of a person and even the basic shape, but it was...off. The creature's legs bowed a bit too much at the knees, their arms hung a bit too low at their sides and their ears were just pointed enough to not be normal. All of their facial features were too sharp and yet too soft to belong to a normal person. It was as if the creature were glaring through his very being and yet also offering solace in a single look. The more Lu Ten looked the more he could tell that this person wasn't a person at all as they faintly glowed. Like they were standing just behind the sun and the rays were peeking out behind them. They were so distinct and yet Lu Ten struggled to hold onto what he was seeing, feeling as if this odd being would vanish from his memory every time he glanced away. He must have spent a small eternity just staring wide-eyed in curious wonder and yet the spirit said nothing, just simply waited for the young boy to take everything in. 

"Are you Agni?" He asked the figure after a moment's hesitation. The spirit in front of him looked nothing like the depiction he'd seen in all the scrolls. Agni was a beautiful and regal looking spirit with three faces and ethereal light, not a faint glow. But there was something so warm and inviting about this stranger that the question couldn't help but bubble past his lips despite knowing the answer himself. "You're not Agni." He amended before the stranger even responded. "But you're a spirit?"

"Of a sort, but I don't think you humans like to think of me as one." The spirit said, their voice inexplicably familiar and yet entirely foreign to Lu Ten's ears. "You are awfully young to be here, Lu Ten."

"How do you know my name?" He took in a sharp breath as he finally brought himself to his feet, though the action did little to stomp out the feeling of dread in his gut. 

"I know everyone's name at some point." The spirit said simply.

"I don't know your name." Lu Ten balled his fists into the hem of his shirt. It was a terrible habit he had when he was nervous and he distantly thought about his father lightly scolding him for crumpling his neatly pressed clothing in such a way. The thought sent a twinge through his heart as he realized that he wanted nothing more than to see his father's face right now and yet he had the sinking feeling he wouldn't be able to do that. All at once, Lu Ten decided he did not like this strange spirit at all even if they seemed friendly. Right now he just wanted to be at home so he could hug his dad and apologize for skipping his classes and not listening to him. 

The spirit shifted slightly as they gazed at the boy. Their expression remained unchanged but they looked sadder somehow, their eyes conveying sympathy that Lu Ten didn't yet understand the meaning of, and yet it served to make him even more uneasy. "I am sorry. I know it is not fair of me to not let you say goodbye. Your father loves you dearly." 

The young fire bender shook his head wildly. "I don't understand! Why-why can't I say good-bye? Why do I even have to say goodbye?! Where am I going? Why can't I go home?" He pulled harshly on the hem of his shirt, his nails digging through the thin fabric and biting into the palms of his hands as he tried to stop the stinging sensation of unspilled tears. "Is it because I tried to fire bend by myself?"

"No, Small one. It is just-"

"I won't do it again, I promise! I swear I'll wait, I'll listen to my dad this time! I'll- I won't force my flames again! I'll go to my tutor! I don't want to leave, I don't even know where I'm going!" His breath hitched as he fought down the urge to take a step back from the figure in front of him as he shook his head. "You can take me home! I know you can, spirits can do things! You have to take me home, my dad will be sad if I'm gone and-" He said desperately in between his heaving breaths. He paused only to bring a sleeve against his watering eyes and streak tears all over his face in an attempt to clear his vision. Even if he didn't understand why he was here he surely understood he didn't want to be in this place. Not if it meant never seeing his dad's smile or having the comforting feeling of his strong arms protecting him from nightmares. 

The spirit shrank slightly almost as if they felt guilty. "It is not that simple. Your spirit is already separate from your body. I do not choose when you leave, I am simply here to guide you. You are too young to fight for your way back to your body-" Apparently that was not the right thing to say to placate the young boy, for he shot his head up quickly and squared his shoulders as he tried to channel as much regal righteousness as he six-year-old form would allow.

"Why do you get to decide that?!" He said, sounding angry beyond what such a small boy should be able to possess. His hands were now balled fists at his sides as tears flowed down his cheeks anew. This time they were out of anger rather than fear or confusion. "Why can't I fight? I want to go home! I want to see my dad and hear his stories again and I want to go to the turtle-duck pond with aunt Ursa and-and show uncle Ozai that I can do my katas right. I want to see the festival this year and eat as many fire flakes as I can. I want to-I want to live!" He shouted so loudly it hurt his own ears and suddenly it crashed on him. Lu Ten was _dead._ He was dead and he hadn't done nearly enough things yet. The realization struck him so harshly that this knees buckled under him and he crashed to the soft grassy ground. He brought himself to his knees and he had to put his palms onto the ground to steady himself. "I want to live and I don't care if you don't think I can anymore!" He fiercely glared at the stranger in front of him while his chest ached for the things that were being taken away from him before he'd even gotten to experience them. "I _can_ fight! I'll fight and fight and fight until you have to let me go-"

"Lu Ten, this is not a punishment-"

"I don't care, you can't take me away without giving me the chance! You can't tell me I have to go, I won't go anywhere with you!"

"This isn't a choice-"

"If you won't take me back then I'll just stay right here! I swear I will, I won't move unless you bring me home. You don't understand, I promised Aunt Ursa we'd go see _Love Amongst the Dragons_ and I can't do that if I'm dead. I can't see my dad again if I'm dead. He'll be all by himself. He already lost Mom because of me I can't-I can't leave him alone and-"

"Enough." The spirit's voice cut him off loudly, but their tone was anything but angry. They sounded pensive as if this was an outcome they hadn't expected. "That is quite enough." They said softly before giving a low hum of consideration. "I have never a child so acutely...Aware of their circumstances. Perhaps...Yes, just this once. I think it is ok to make an exception." They said as they moved for the first time since Lu Ten had first spotted the spirit in order to cross the distance between them. The spirit towered over Lu Ten even after they knelt beside him. The spirit slowly raised a hand and the boy in front of them resisted the urge to flinch as two spindly fingers reached his forehead. "Be thankful, Small one, it is not often I mend a vessel that's supposed to stay broken." With the slightest tap pins and needles shot through his body and he felt as if the world was tilting around him before he fell through the grassy plains and into darkness. 

The first thing Lu Ten noticed was that the sky was cloudless today. The next thing he noticed was that he couldn't breathe. His instincts kicked in before his brain did as he thrashed against the arms that were keeping him underwater. Within a few seconds, he was dragged above the surface and became a spluttering mess as he forced the water out of his lungs. He could feel firm hands gripping at the front of his shirt as he continued to hack up a lung while his vision was still blurred. For a moment he thought it was his father holding him and he almost called out for him until he finally blinked away his blurred vision. Instead of his father found a figure that was not his father standing in front of him half-leaning over the edge of the fountain and his fist still white-knuckle gripping the collar of his shirt. 

"U-uncle?" The young boy said in between coughs as he let his hands rest on the larger pair of arms still gripping him. 

Ozai, however, didn't respond. Instead, he stared down at the small boy with a look that didn't fit his sharp and stern features in the slightest. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly agape as if he were looking at some unsettling creature and not his young nephew. Just as quickly as Lu Ten noticed it the expression was wiped clean from his uncle's face and replaced with the normal half-scowl that he always wore. Without a single warning, the elder prince yanked Lu Ten up and out of the fountain and all but dropped him on the stone-tiled ground and the young boy barely managed to stay on his feet. 

"Clean yourself up. You look like a mess and I won't have your father lecturing me about letting you run around soaking wet." He said simply with the cold and stern tone the younger bender had come to associate with his uncle. "I have half a mind to drag you back to your tutor. It's disgraceful to shirk off your responsibilities." He added though he made no move to do so as he just stared oddly at Lu Ten for just long enough to make the small boy uncomfortable. His gaze flicked to the boys arm for only a moment before he tore his eyes away. Without another word his uncle had turned on his heel with the slight rustling of his robes and left Lu Ten by himself in the middle of the courtyard without so much as a mention of the younger boy almost burning himself to death. 

Once the confusion at the odd interaction he'd just had with his uncle wore off Lu Ten finally noticed the distinct lack of pain he had and quickly looked over at his arm that had been set ablaze just minutes ago. What he found was his arm perfectly intact and without a single blemish in sight. Even the small scar across the palm of his hand from when he cut himself climbing the thorn-vines in the garden was absent. Lu Ten had half a mind to think that maybe he'd just had an odd dream and that his apparent death and resurrection were just a figment of his imagination, but his sleeve was still in tatters up to his shoulder and burnt to a crisp at the edges of what remained. There was also the fact that his uncle had shoved him into the fountain and wouldn't do that unless it was to save him. At least, Lu Ten _hoped_ that was the case, he was never really sure what his uncle was truly thinking behind his cold amber eyes. At any rate, he was alive and unharmed and he really needed to go give his dad a hug. And then after that, he was going to find the biggest and best offerings he could and ask to go to the temples even if it wasn't a worship day. It was the least he could do for the odd spirit who was already slipping from his memory. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to have a pretty significant jump in time, so head up on that! I'll be keeping everything in chronological around but stuff will be hopping forward pretty significantly. You only have so many near-death expeirences in a single lifetime, you know?


	2. Strategy 2: Debate Your Circumstances (Dumb Luck Might Help)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Graphic depiction of someone getting burned/burn injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took chapter so long to get published, I kept rewriting a bunch of scenes because I didn't like them. I also had like a lot of ideas I wanted to add now that Lu Ten isn't six years old, but I finally got it done! Also, I apologize for not thinking of adding warnings to my chapters sooner! I had tagged a lot of the stuff that happens but I realized that probably wasn't enough.

Lu Ten is fifteen years old and he is on fire again. It's not his fault this time, though. Really, it's not. They aren't his flames, they will not obey him and he is unable to escape them. He should probably be worried about what being on fire would do to his immediate health but quite frankly he's more preoccupied with the fact that his opponent was a slandering cur _and_ he didn't know how to wait for a simple duel signal.

He hadn't meant to challenge Bao to an agni kai but he can say with full certainly he had no idea what he was supposed to do now. Lu Ten liked to think he was a pretty peaceful man. He didn't like to incite conflict, especially not within his own ranks. He respected his fellow soldiers and wanted nothing but the best for them even if they didn't always see eye to eye. Expect for Bao. Bao could lick the bottom of his fucking boots because Bao was a valor-stealing bastard whose entire military career was founded on lies. It was almost impressive given the fact that the other boy was barely even seventeen and he'd managed to weave himself so tightly within the higher ranks good graces without so much as leaving fire nation soil. Yes, ok, Lu Ten will admit that he might be _slightly_ hypocritical in his judgment given the fact that he had his own fair share of perks simply because of his lineage, but he's never used his birthright as leverage to get into a cushy office. And he sure as hell wasn't banking on nepotism to get him anywhere, Agni knows his father would kick his ass if he even thought about trying to use his position as a General to get something. So he's fairly sure he had a leg up on Bao and his 'my father practically funds our military" attitude. For all his hatred for Bao's ethics and pretty much everything he stood for, he couldn't for the life of him pinpoint what made him decide to finally settle his grievances. Perhaps it was because his father and uncle had both been in at least three agni kai's by the time they were his age and he thought he should follow suit. Or maybe he didn't actually expect the other boy to accept the challenge. Regardless of the actual reasons why, he'd thrown the challenge down at Bao's feet and the other boy accepted it without so much as batting an eye. It left Lu Ten both uneasy and unsure of how he was supposed to prepare for such an event, but more than that he had a single dreaded thought floating through his mind.

His father was going to kill him.

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Lu Ten nervously stalked the halls of the palace as he tried to ignore the gaze of every servant that he happened to pass by. His footsteps hammered his ears as he ducked away from every polite acknowledgment of his presence before he finally turned the corner and went towards in the direction of the turtle duck pond. The tension finally started to dissolve from his shoulders once the pond was within view and the familiar figure of his Aunt Ursa was seated at the edge of the pond along with Zuko's toddling form. It wasn't until the small boy came barreling towards him, one tiny fist still holding stale bits of bread he'd been throwing into the pond, that he finally felt at ease for the first time that day. 

"Ten's here!" Zuko said with a squeak of glee as he almost took out Lu Ten's knee caps with his mad dash to hug him. 

The older boy laughed as he managed to not topple over from the toddler's excitement and wrapped Zuko into a hug, looking over to where Ursa was smiling fondly from her spot at the edge of the pond. In her arms, she was holding Azula, who was as bright-eyed and healthy as a one-year-old should be. It took a couple of minutes for Zuko energetic excitement to die down enough for him to let go of his surprisingly tight hug around the older boy's shins. He quickly went to yank on Lu Ten's sleeve and started dragging him over to the pond.

"Feed the Turtle-ducks!" He said insistently as he kept tugging on the older boy's sleeve. His three-year-old's pronunciation mangled words in such an adorable way that Lu Ten was very inclined to give in to his cousin's request. "They like you!" Zuko had added and those polar-dog puppy eyes were almost too much to resist.

Lu Ten allowed himself to be yanked over to the edge of the pond but didn't sit down even as Zuko tried to tug him to the spot next to Ursa. "Sorry, Zu, I can't stay that long right now. I just need to ask your mom something." He admitted. The heavy feeling in his gut that he'd momentarily forgotten was starting to creep back. 

"Zu-Zu! Zu-Zu! Zu-Zu!" Azula had paused her previous mission of tearing chunks of bread into sizable pieces for the turtle-ducks and began chanting her brother's name happily. 

"Not so loud dear, your brother is right here." Ursa gently told the young girl sitting in her lap with a small laugh before she turned her attention to her nephew. "You wanted to ask me something?"

Lu Ten had been trying to placate Zuko as he pouted about the older boy not staying. He patted the younger child's head and lightly pushed him over to the direction of Azula to distract him and perked up a bit when his aunt spoke. "Oh, uh, yeah! I was wondering if you knew were Uncle was. I wanted to talk to him about, um, things." He supplied weakly.

Ursa quirked her brow and only paused her gaze at her nephew when Zuko made a grabbing motion for his sister. She carefully shifted and allowed the young boy to sit by the edge while practically holding Azula in his tiny arms. She kept a close eye on her children as Zuko animatedly tried to explain to his title sister how to feed turtle-ducks out of your palm. Once she determined they were safely playing she glanced back at Lu Ten expectantly. "You wanted to talk about 'things'?" She said, clearly not letting Lu Ten off with such a vague explanation.

Lu Ten shifted nervously from foot to foot for a few moments under his aunt's scrutinizing gaze. "Well, I just...He's been in a lot of agni kai's and Father doesn't like to talk about them. So I thought I could ask him what they're like." He said. It wasn't a lie, he did want to ask his uncle about the traditions of an agni kai. What he conveniently left out was the fact that he wanted to know what he had signed himself up for without admitting to his father that he'd gotten himself into a duel. His father would surely be disappointed to know that his normally level-headed son had decided to use violence to settle a dispute and Ozai would...Well, he'd probably encourage it, which wasn't what Lu Ten wanted but it was a slight improvement. 

Ursa still didn't seem to be buying Lu Ten's shoddy excuse, but her gaze softened as she gave a small sigh. "Your Uncle is meditating in his quarters. It'd be best-" She'd started before a small indignant cry caught her attention as he turned to see Zuko holding a small turtle-duckling over his head while Azula seemed to be trying to grab the small creature. "Kids, we don't pick up the turtle-ducks!" She said as she stood up to try and rescue the little creature from toddling hands. 

Lu Ten saw this as a perfect opportunity to slip away. "Ok thanks bye Aunt Ursa!" He said quickly and darted off without waiting for any response. 

It didn't take very long for him to make his way to the room his Uncle is occupying. It took far longer for him to gather enough courage to gently creak open the door and peer in to see the broad figure of his uncle's back. The shadows on the wall grew and shrunk in time with his breathing and Lu Ten took a moment to just watch. Seeing his uncle meditate was one of the few times he seemed calm. The older man's rigid posture was replaced with something looser and the seemingly permanent sneer on his face giving way to a lax expression. Lu Ten could almost see the resemblance between Ozai and his own father (and he could almost let himself admit that they shared their bloodline without feeling unnerved). He was hesitant to interrupt the display but he finally broke the silence with a sharp clearing of his throat as he let the door slip open completely, his head dipping at the way his uncle's shoulders immediately tensed at the disruption. 

"I apologize for interrupting you, Uncle. I know your meditation is important to you." He said before the older man could beat him to it, making sure he kept his tone formal. "But I have an...issue of great importance. May I come in?" 

The candle flames rose in time with Ozai's sharp breath and went out completely when he let out an irritated sigh. He turned enough to face his nephew and motioned for his to step forward as he himself stood, making no attempt to mask his displeasure. The young fire bender quickly brought himself inside, carefully closing the door behind him. He said nothing for a few moments as he felt impossibly nervous under his uncle's gaze, but quickly realized he was waning his already thin patience the longer he was quiet. 

"You've been in an agni kai before." Lu Ten started as he resisted the urge to tug at his shirt hem. "And I may have...challenged...someone to one. I think your advice could be helpful." 

All at once, Ozai's scrutinizing gaze broke away into a rare smile that was somehow even more unnerving than his scowl. "My nephew, while I'm flattered you've come to me for guidance I'm surprised. Surely you'd want to speak to your father about such an important milestone." 

"I would, but I don't think he'd, er, approve of it." Lu Ten said, his hand drifting to rub the back of his neck.

Ozai gave a short nod that was accompanied by a breathy, rumbling chuckle. "Your father never really did see the importance of such traditions. I'm glad that you didn't seem to follow in his footsteps in that regard." He smoothed out a stray hair from his otherwise perfect top knot as he continued. "An Agni Kai is rather similar to any sparring you've done with your fire bending instructor. It is important to make sure you're the first to strike. The less chance that your opponent has to fight the better. Your final attack should be swift and clean-"

"A-about that." Lu Ten interrupted quickly and tried to ignore the glare he received for his outburst. "I was hoping that the-the um, the killing blow wasn't necessary?" The words fell out of his mouth as more of a question hands a statement as he tightly clasped his hands together to keep himself from fidgeting. "I understand that it's the common way of doing it and all, but I don't think my conflict is that important. It was a petty argument, really, not something worth _dying_ over." He said hopefully.

Ozai raised a brow at the younger boy before shaking his head, another unsettling chuckle coming through his lips. "Oh my dear nephew, an agni kai that ends without bloodshed is a match between cowards. If your dispute was enough to challenge the other boy then you surely should be willing to die for it, as well as to kill." He said as if he were amused by Lu Ten's hesitance. 

"I didn't- I just thought that it was more, er, sportsman-like to show mercy? Wouldn't that be a better example for me to set for our nation?" 

"Better example? Lu Ten, you would be showing your nation that you are _weak_. As a member of the royal family, you have to be unwavering in your resolve. To leave your opponent alive would show the world that you cannot do what is necessary, you will be ridiculed and undermined your entire life. You will never have the court's support if they think that you can't even protect your dignity. If you can't even kill a single man who has disrespected you, then how are you to ever lead an entire nation in times of war?" 

His uncle's brow was pinched in a show of concern that felt just a bit too patronizing to sit right with Lu Ten. The younger boy opened his mouth only to snap it shut several times and he stumbled over his own words, clearly unnerved by his Ozai's so-called guidance. It didn't seem right to him, it didn't _feel_ right that his only choice was to end someone's life just because he'd lost his temper and made a stupid offer. He was pulled out of his thoughts when a firm hand clamped onto his shoulder and it was only then that Lu Ten realized he was shaking. He quickly tried to force himself to still and look back into his uncle's eyes.

"I only tell you this out of concern for your future. In truth, I'm glad you came to me about this. I'm sure your father would've led you astray. He is a smart General but... his heart is too soft to run a nation." 

His uncle continued and his unnaturally soft tone made Lu Ten want to gouge his own eardrums out because that wasn't what his uncle sounded like. The disconnect between his uncle's calm tone and his unnerving words made his blood run cold and made him desperate to squirm out of the grip on his shoulder. He knew better than to show that kind of disrespect, though, and instead opted lower his gaze from the disturbing pensive and concerned look his uncle was giving him as he spoke. Somehow the delicate words and gestures made him feel far more inadequate than when his uncle simply showed his disdain for things he did. He was used to the anger and the scowling and the harsh tone, that was who is uncle was and it was what the young boy had come to expect.

"Mercy is an option, Lu Ten, I won't lie and deny you the choice. But I'm hoping that you will do what it takes to make our family proud." Ozai said, his hand lingering on his nephew's shoulder for a moment longer before he retracted it back to his side. 

Lu Ten nodded stiffly and forced himself to not bolt out of the room. Instead, he walked out at a normal pace, gently closed the door behind him, walked until he was fairly certain his was far enough away from any prying eyes and began to cry. He only allowed himself a brief moment of weakness, after all, he was a prince and he was going to face far harder choices than this one day. Still, he allowed himself a minute or two of tears before he straightened himself out and rubbed away any tears tracks on his cheeks. Sunset would be in a few hours, and he had to prepare. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were more people in the hall than Lu Ten though there would be. He'd been rather tight-lipped about getting himself into an agni kai so he could only assume the large audience was Bao's doing. He can't say he surprised the other boy would want to make such a large spectacle out of their dispute, but it did little calm his nerves. He was so chock full of nervous energy that he breezed through the final preparations and let himself get tugged around by various servants and officials without paying much attention. He did vividly remember facing Bao before they entered the arena and, for all the bravado the older boy had when he initially accepted the challenge, Lu Ten could see the naked fear in his eyes before they gave a respectful bow to one another and were dragged to their respective sides. A servant placing the ceremonial shroud across his bare shoulders before quickly retreating and it felt like a lead blanket. Lu Ten was faced away from Bao as he knelt and he kept his gaze firmly on the ground to avoid the stares of the crowd. The bands around his arms dug into his biceps uncomfortably as he impatiently awaited the countdown from some highly respected officiator. It felt like hours of nothing but murmurs and bated excitement from onlookers but it was surely nothing more than a few minutes until the countdown finally commenced.

"Ten!" The loud voice of the officiator struck through the last of the crowd's conversations and brought a startling silence with it.

Lu Ten took in a slow breath, forcing his body to a calm that his mind didn't have. 

"Nine!"

His fingers tapped nervously against the cold stone of the ground before he dragged them into fists.

"Eight!"

He lifted his eyes to glance around at the spectators. It made his stomach churn to know they'd be watching him.

"Seven!" 

He resisted the urge to turn around early to see if Bao was as nervous as him.

"Six!" 

Lu Ten could _win_ , he knew his abilities. He just didn't know if he had the strength to follow through. 

"Five!"

The unexpected heat against his back warned him before the shocked gasps of both the officiator and the audience did. It sent an unbridled fear roaring through each of his senses as he turned wildly, arms shooting up instinctively to protect himself. But it was far too late as the angry snap of white-orange flames were already close enough to blind him with their light. For a moment all he saw were bright sparks of flame curling around and past him, the force of the attack -the cowardly, too early attack- nearly sent him sprawled on the ground. The flames crashed his bare skin, blistering instantly before layers of skin gave way completely to the inferno. The pain was immediate and a scream tore its way past his lips, it was lost to his own ears and overpowered by the rush of fire but he could feel it tear his throat raw. The flames licked past his arms and dug into his bare chest, his face -everywhere- and it was _unbearable_ . His screams of agony twisted into strangled gasps as the pain stole the air from his lungs. His raised arms fell limply at his sides, no longer listening to his commands. His vision was already fading at the edges, the faces and figures of the crowd of became smudged colors as his legs threatened to buckle beneath him. His gaze fell on Bao, who he could still make out even as he teetered dangerously towards blacking out. The other boy's arms were still poised from his attack as if he were frozen to his spot. Lu Ten noticed two figures rushing towards his opponent and yanking him away from the arena before the scene in front of him lurched. He didn't even notice his legs finally giving out beneath him until he was suddenly face down on the rough stone of the dueling grounds. He heard the crowd beginning an uproar but the voices blended together in a way that took much focus to decipher. He tried to get up or to even just _move_ at all (Laying flat on his face wasn't dignified and even while only half-lucid that was an inexcusable way to present himself to the masses). His body, however, refused to cooperate and all he managed was twitching his fingers, sending bolts of heavy pain through his arms that refused to subside. He felt the pounding of footsteps against the ground more than he heard them, but he did dimly notice several pairs of blurred shoes stomping before his eyes. He doesn't remember much after that, only snippets of hazy words and the jostling movement of a stretcher scraping marred flesh. He remembers speaking and shouting and crying out with a raw throat as hands touched scorched skin, thrashing against restraining arms and calling out for his dad just before he was swallowed by darkness. 

Lu Ten awoke to the sight of a pale blue sky and soft grass beneath him. He blinked owlishly for a few moments as he just stared at the bright sky that was eerily void of any clouds. He carefully tested his body and felt his fingers curl against blades of grass without so much as a twinge. Which he found odd considering he was fairly sure he'd been severely injured as of the last time he was conscious. A strange sense of Deja Vu gripped him as he dragged himself to sit upright. His hands quickly darted across his torso, still as bare as it was when he'd been in the middle of his agni kai, and found not a trace of any burn. 

"I do hope you see the irony in your terrible luck with flames." 

The familiar voice was enough to make the young prince scramble to his feet. His head quickly turned and he laid eyes on the figure before him, then suddenly a crash of crystal clear memories from when he was six years old flooded his senses. The odd spirit hadn't changed at all since their first run-in, their features were just as unsettling yet comforting as before and they were draped in the same soft grey fabrics that belonged to no nation. The smirking was new, though. Apparently, that was what Lu Ten was going to focus on after realizing that he had died for a _second_ time. He lacked the primal fear that he remembered from last time, and perhaps it's because of the familiarity or perhaps its because he was choosing to ignore the looming fact that he was apparently dead. He didn't want to even begin to think about how undignified his sudden death was, a fire nation prince dying from flames in a botched Agni kai. Or the fact that he'd sorely let his uncle down, or that his father was no doubt getting news of what had transpired and _dear Agni his father had no idea and now his son was dead and he wasn't even there and he never got to say goodbye-_

"I don't remember you having a sense of humor last time I was here." The young prince said, forcing himself to reel in his emotions and channeling his usual almost-regal tone. He wasn't a child this time, this wasn't going to end with him sobbing on his knees like before. 

"You aren't supposed to _remember_ anything, Small one." The spirit's brow raised curiously as the small quirk to their lip dropped. "You're only supposed to experience the afterlife once." 

"Well, I think that ship has already sailed." 

"Fair point." The spirit conceded with a slight nod. "I suppose this is what I get for meddling with the fates. I hope this will make things easier, at least." The spirit did not move from his spot, but their hand reached out for the boy to take as a silent invitation. 

Lu Ten backed away as if he were about to be struck before he steeled himself. He squared his shoulders and puffed his chest the way he did when he wanted to be seen as more toughened than his fifteen years of age allowed him to be. "You're expecting me to just slip away and let myself be cheated out years I could have lived?" He demanded.

"...Yes." The spirit's hand didn't move in the slightest and they didn't even seem to understand why Lu Ten might not be on board with being swept away into the afterlife. 

"That's bullshit!" The young prince threw his hands up in frustration before they balled to fists at his side. "Bao is an Agni-forsaken coward! He's a bastard, a complete and utter bastard and _I'm_ the one who has to die for it? I'm the prince of an entire nation, my people need me! My-my family needs me!" He was gesturing wildly now, his years of royal etiquette flying out the window as the unbridled anger at his situation grew. "And you're ok with that? You're ok with a man like him getting to walk away?"

"This isn't about fairness." The spirit said with the slightest inkling of frustration in their tone. 

"Obviously not! I didn't even get a chance to do anything! I was willing to die in that duel, I knew I might have died but I was supposed to get a chance! I was supposed to have a possibility of getting out of it alive!" The fire bender was pacing like a viper-panther in an enclosure, his hands tugging at his hair. "I didn't get to fight. He took that, that bastard took that- What was it you did?" He said, halting his anger as he quickly snapped his fingers trying his conversation with the spirit years ago. "You did your spirit thing and you brought me back good as new, can't you just do it again? I mean I feel like it's fair since I was _cheated_ \- " 

The spirt's hand finally dropped down to their side as Lu Ten stalked closer. "It's not as simple as that." The figure gave a sigh when the boy threw his hands in a gesture for the spirit to elaborate. "This place isn't the afterlife as you think it is. It's the space between life and death for you humans. Your spirit came here because your body broke off its connection with it. It's not my place to guide your soul back to your body, that's up to you. What I did when you were younger was an exception. I shouldn't have done it in the first place, and I certainly won't be doing it again." The spirit saw the fight in Lu Ten's eyes begin to dim and his shoulder' hunched slightly. " I can't force you to come with me, you have to come to that choice on your own. If you're so determined you can try to reunite with your body, but understand many have spent eternities trying to breach back into the living world."'

The young prince seemed encouraged by this new information and his eyes blazed anew. "Ok, that's fine, I can do that myself. How would I find a way back?" He asked, practically bouncing on his heels with impatience. 

The spirit paused for a moment before answering hesitantly. "I cannot say. However-" The spirt brought themselves to their knees and gently placed their hands on the ground, their long fingers entangling themselves into the grass blade. "I can tell you that this is the barrier between your body and your spirit." The figure ran their hands through the blade before placing their hands onto their lap. They were about to add more but Lu Ten had already dropped to the ground and was digging his fingers into the earth. 

"Got it! I just have to break through this and then I get to go back, easy! I'll just-" He gritted his teeth as he dug up a large handful of dirt. "I'll just get through this and then I can see dad, then I'll tell him I'm sorry for being stupid and-" He trailed off as he dragged his hands through the earth again, not caring about talking about his father informally. There was no one here to hear him anyways. 

"Small one, wait." The spirit said, but Lu Ten clearly wasn't listening as he drove his hands into the ground, already wrist-deep in the soil as a small pile formed behind him. "Small one, listen!" The spirit's voice rose and echoed slightly throughout the wide expanse of field and that was enough to pause Lu Ten.

The boy's hands were still half stuff in soil and he didn't look up at the spirit. "What?! You said this was the barrier! I can't get through it unless I break it!" He said through gritted teeth.

"That is not my concern. Lu Ten, this is different from when I placed you back in your body. You were young and I didn't want to see you suffer. If you do this, if you find a way back then I will have no hand in it. You will return to a broken body, one that is filled with unavoidable pain. You will be damaged and scarred and it may be beyond repair. You won't be as you once were." 

Lu Ten dug his fingers deeper into the dirt as he took a deep breath. He remembered the pain and confusion and the helpless feeling of being trapped in his own skin from his injuries. He was fairly sure his arms would be scarred at best. The worst would be that the burns were too deep, that the muscles that were damaged would never repair themselves and he'd never fire bend again, he'd never be independent again. The thought alone was enough to terrify him and almost made him second guess going back. 

And then he remembered his father.

_His_ father. Who had loved him and had rushed home from his successful colonizing of earth kingdom territory just to see him was when he was born, who had put an entire pause on his military career when his mother, who had never really recovered from the complications of giving birth to Lu Ten, had passed away from illness just to raise him on his own when he was four. His father, who had refused to re-marry and have another heir when the fire sages didn't think Lu Ten had the spark for fire bending. Who had sung him to bed when he had nightmares and loved him without any question, who would still love him no matter what. He couldn't leave his father alone. Nor could he leave his baby cousins alone to wonder why he never came back to sit by the turtle-duck pond with them again.

"I don't need to be the same, I just need to be there again." He said resolutely. He picked up once again with digging his hands into the dirt with renewed force. The piles of dirt were haphazardly thrown behind him and he ignored when his fingers started to painfully scrape against rocks and plant roots. He desperately raked away at the ground for what must have been hours and yet he felt no closer to getting back. He'd only managed to get an arms-length deep into the earth and it was obvious it wasn't about to give any time soon. The prince gave a frustrated shout before throwing a final handful of dirt across the grassy fields. He took in a sharp breath as he shifted to bring his knees to his chest, his hands tugged at his loose hair as he curled in on himself. He was son of the great General Iroh, second in line to the throne of the fire nation and one year away from receiving his royal hair-piece and _he was not going to cry-_

He took a few moments to try and control his emotions and seemed to finally feel confident that he wouldn't break down into tears after a few minutes of running through simple fire bending breathing exercises. He pried his fingers from his now-tangled hair and raised his head to the spirit, who hadn't moved an inch and was still kneeling a foot or two in front of him. They did look at him with sympathy nor did they say a word, they simply held their hand out once again. Lu Ten gritted his teeth and brought himself to his feet again. 

"Piss off." He bit out angrily. He became even more frustrated when the spirit suddenly became less conversational and didn't even react to his barb. 

He shook his head before storming past the spirit and out into the open expanse of the field filled to the brim with flowers he'd never seen before. Digging with his bare hands obviously wasn't going to get him there, but there had to be something else. If he looked around maybe he'd find a weak spot in the ground or something that could help him dig faster. There had to be _something_ or else the stupid spirit-of-the-dead or whatever they were supposed to be wouldn't have told him in the first place. He walked quickly through the fields, impatient to find something useful but not wanting to overlook anything in his haste. In his search, he found that while he didn't recognize most of the flowers he passed there a few scattered about that he could almost identify. Most of them he only knew vaguely about, like the small almost bead-like flowers that he knew grew in the cold expanses of the north and south poles. There were others he was more familiar with, like the small cluster of panda lilies, which he's spent days learning about to impress a schoolyard crush when he was twelve. He was very disappointed to find that they only grew on the side of active volcanoes and that he wouldn't be able to find them on the outskirts of his home in the capital city. The memory brought a small smile to his face and he couldn't help but pause to look at the black and white petals of the plant. He reached out to touch them and felt a small rushing sensation through his entire being when his hand connected with the stem of the plant. He let go in his surprise and the feeling faded with it. he quickly snatched at the plant and the feeling returned, it was weak but he felt...almost whole again, not the like hollow feeling that came with being a disembodied soul. It was tethering, but it wasn't enough. He let go of the panda lily and the gears began to turn in his mind. He tested his theory and touched a nearby plant that he'd never seen before and was met with nothing but the silky feeling of the bright purple petals. He jolted up from his crouched position and made a mad dash through the flowers, searching for ones he recognized. He sprinted his way through the flowers, stopping only when a particular patch struck his eye to test for any strong memories linked to them. He ran and stumbled until he had to take stop himself from exhaustion. He bent over panting with his hands on his knees, still unsuccessful but hopeful. There had to be a flower that he had a strong connection to, the panda lily was proof of it. When he'd caught his breath enough to continue on his straightened himself and looked on to find a flower that stood out a few yards away. It was bright red and unmistakably a fire lily. One of the most common flowers of the fire nation and the exact flower that filled up half of the courtyard gardens in the palace. He remembered playing hide a seek and veering off of the stone paths in the gardens to hide in the wide petals of the fire lilies. His red robes blending in well with the vibrant flowers as he giggled between the stems to see his father scratching his head in dramatic confusion as to where he'd gone. He'd sit down with aunt Ursa once he was finally old enough to develop the patience to sit for more than two minutes and learn how to carefully craft flower crowns by weaving the stems of flowers together. He spent hours in the gardens and picking out only the most pristine of the bunch to cultivate into a boutique for his first-ever crush and being filled with excited nervous energy when he carefully wrote an embarrassingly sappy love note to attached to the bundle of flowers. Lu Ten lit up at the surge of memories and was already dashing towards the flower. Even this far away he could feel the faint surge of the mortal world that the fire lily expelled and he tripped over his own feet in his haste. So much so that he did end up tripping and falling flat on his face, though he barely cared as he scrambled back to his feet only to almost plow into the familiar spirit that was now standing in front of him. He nearly screamed as he skidded to a halt, not because of the surprise of seeing the eight-foot-tall spirit appear in front of in out of thin air but out of frustration because he was _so close_ and he a big giant humanoid figure was standing between him and getting back to his body. 

"Small one-"

"I'm not that small." He bit out reflexive at the spirit's word. He didn't care if it was petty he was 5'5 and that was perfect average height for his age and the spirit was a literal giant and in his _fucking_ way. 

The spirit clicked their tongue before continuing. "Lu Ten." They corrected, sounding exasperated. "I am simply giving you one last chance to change your mind. It is your choice but...You are young, and I hate to see suffering."

Lu Ten laughed at that, a loud and unhinged laugh that boiled up from his chest unbidden and sent him doubled over. When he finally composed himself again he had straightened up but was still holding his aching side. "And who's suffering are you expecting to ease if I decided to cross into the next life?" He bit out with surprising venom. "It certainly wouldn't be my father's, or my aunt's, or my baby cousins'. They'd all suffer! And they'd suffer their whole lives because I chose to be selfish!" He hissed as he resolutely stepped around the towering spirit and made his way over to the fiery flower.

"I meant your suffering, Lu Ten. You must realize the pain will go through if you return." The spirit said, almost pleadingly. 

But Lu Ten's hand already hovered over the flower, thrumming with energy and practically pulling him away from this odd purgatory before it clamped around the flower and suddenly he felt himself being pulled through the grassy plains and the layers of dirt until everything went dark.

Lu Ten awoke to the darkness of closed eyelids that stubbornly refused to budge and a strange floating sensation in the pit of his stomach. His senses came back to him slowly, and his ears began to pick up the quiet noise of people shuffling and going about their duties, but try and he might he couldn't hold onto to any of the thread of conversation he heard. He distantly noted the thick cotton webbing his fingers and it took him a few moments to realize he was practically mummified as the pressure of carefully placed bandages was woven around both his arms as well as his torso. The pain came in slowly until it gripped him like a vice and he was unable to pinpoint any specific area of hurt. His jaw clenched while a pained noise passed his lips involuntarily as awareness continued to come to him slowly. For a moment Lu Ten wondered if he could slip back into whatever unconsciousness he'd been immersed in, it was already tugging at his mind anyway, but through the haze of pain and confusion, he heard the gruff voice of his father. It was quiet and the words sounded jumbled in his ears but it was unmistakably his father. He finally dragged open his eyes and slowly blink away the haze clouding his vision to see an unfamiliar ceiling. He struggled to dredge up any memories that might explain where he was or why he was there, but he only got murky recollections of bright flames and a screaming crowd until it made his head swim to think about further. He let his head loll, his cheek was bandaged and stung when pressed against the cot, and he finally saw his father. He looked far too tired at that moment. He was occupying a stool by Lu Ten's bedside and was speaking with a woman wearing physician's robes, their voices both hushed and indiscernible to him. His father looked worse for wear, with red-rimmed eyes and unkempt hair that was half falling out of its usual top knot, but it was his father and he was _there_ which meant Lu Ten was _here_.

"Dad." The word broke off halfway in Lu Ten's throat and came out as barely more than a rasp, but it somehow still caught his attention. 

"Lu Ten-" Iroh was on his feet in seconds and had closed the short distance to reach him. His hands hovered over the younger boy's, the bandages making him hesitate to hold his child's hand like he longed to. "My son, my dear son." His eyes shone with unspilled tears, trying to keep what little semblance of composure he still had left. 

Lu ten's chest ached in a way that wasn't from injury at the sight of his father's face. His father was supposed to be warm and wrinkled from a few too many years of full-bellied laughter. He wasn't supposed to look old beyond his years, he wasn't supposed to look hollowed out. " 'm sorry." The words felt like sandpaper in his throat and they didn't sound right, but he forced them out anyway. " 'm sorry, I didn't-" His voice failed him as he clumsily lifted a bandaged hand, half-numb fingertips trying to reach his father. He wasn't sure quite what he was apologizing for, his mind still working too slow, but he knew he needed to. He needed his father to know he was sorry for being so foolish, so weak to get himself nearly killed- 

Iroh gentled caught his son's fumbling hand with his own. The older man's tears had begun to freely flow down his cheeks as he shook his head. "There's no need for that." He said simply as he brought his free hand to stroke through the young boy's loose hair. "Just rest. A man needs his rest." 

In the end, it will take over three months for Lu Ten's injuries to fully heal. It will take even longer to get used to the vicious scars the would result from it. They will forever peek out from the edges of his sleeves and lay just below his collar, they will catch against the fabric of his robes and remind him that he is damaged. He will have to relearn how to live with the fact that his arms will never feel the world around him like they once did, relearn how to fire bend without letting the flames get too close to parts of his skin that no longer feel heat or pain. He will never go swimming with his little cousin's at ember island for fear of scaring them with angry red marks. But for now, Lu Ten is hurting, and he is tired, and his father said it ok for him to rest so he lets himself drift off into a dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly I have no idea what consistent formatting is. Or consistent chapter lengths, but hey at least it's longer, right? 
> 
> Fun fact: I had originally written an entire scene that depicted the entire squabble that led to the agni kai but I had to leave it out of the finished chapter because it ended up cluttering the overall chapter. I made an original character and everything and I'm kind of sad I had to scrap it.
> 
> Another note: If the whole spirit world/purgatory thing is confusing, don't worry I have no idea what I'm talking about either! But on a serious note, I will be expanding further in the next few chapters, also our dear Spirirt-friend is going to get a name soon~


End file.
